Restless

I’m in the beginning stages of 5 books again. I can’t seem to get going on just one or two—but 5??? It’s all about interest level I guess. At this moment, I’m reading Restless: because you were made for more by Jennie Allen. Yes, I’ve been rather restless for the past several years. Pretty much since we’ve been in Tennessee. I had all these plans to get involved with this cause or that one but didn’t get too far. Unmotivated, lazy, dragging my feet, forgetful? Excuses every one of them and I’ve fallen into all of those at one time or another. So here I sit—RESTLESS! Fear has struck at this point. Can I actually pray “God, anything. You have me.”? I sometimes wonder. I’m a dreamer—and God’s a dreamer too. God built us to dream. dream (n.) A strongly desired goal or purpose something that fully satisfies a wish a visionary creation of the imagination Am I afraid God’s dream won’t coincide with mine? When my dreams don’t come true, I tend to give up. I’ve done that more than once: given up. However, I should never stop searching for purpose until God’s will becomes my passion. Am I afraid? Is there some deep need within me that keeps me from missing God’s plans for me? Maybe I should quit analyzing so much: “Quit analyzing everything and just do something.” -Kevin DeYoung “Just Do Something!” Yes, maybe that’s a good idea. Just do something. Stop just thinking about it and follow through. “So God, what am I supposed to do?” How about respond to the need you see right now. John Piper said-“Know Scripture, know yourself, and know the need around you.” We’re all different yet we’re one body. We each have a gift and we’re given the manifestation of the Spirit for the common good. And are my motives pure? Is my heart right before God? Is this where surrender comes in to play? The parable that Allen uses of running the race hit home with my kids and I. We’ve all been hurt by people; by the church. And as we sit there by the side of the road, we see others racing by. No one stops to offer help when we’re hurting. Why were we hurt? What happened? This is the church. Aren’t they supposed to stop and check on us? People are too busy with their own race it seems to stop and ask if we’re hurt or need help. For that matter, have I taken the time to stop for those on the side of the road? There is a time for every purpose under heaven. What time is it for me? What season am I in? What part of the race am I on? Will I finish well? Will I finish at all? Or will I stay by the side of the road. I’m thirsty. I’ve been waiting for someone to show me the way back into the race. I’ve been hurting and I’m longing for more. I’m not satisfied but not sure what to do about it. I’m asking, “Is there more? And if there is, how do I find it?” (paraphrase from the book) God has been speaking—but I haven’t always been quiet. I try to listen but I’m not sure what to do with all he is saying, what he’s asking of me. Paul says in Ephesians 4:1 “I urge you to live a life worthy of the calling you have received.” I need to run towards Hebrews 12:1-3: Therefore, since we are surrounded by such a great cloud of witnesses, let us throw off everything that hinders and the sin that so easily entangles, and let us run with perseverance the race marked out for us. Let us fix our eyes on Jesus, the author and perfecter of our faith, who for the joy set before him endured the cross scorning its shame and sat down on the right hand of the throne of God. Consider him who endured such opposition from sinful men, so that you will not grow weary and lose heart.