My Walk

For the past few weeks, I’ve been thinking about my breast cancer journey. It hasn’t been heavy on my mind, but I think it’s because my dear friend Cindy is training for the Susan G. Komen 3 Day Walk to help bring an end to breast cancer. I posted Melissa Ethridge’s song again, “I Run For Life” on my Facebook. I’m not sure if anyone is listening, there haven’t been any comments but I love that song. It brings tears to my eyes every time I hear her sing it. Cindy went through breast cancer a year before I did. She was diagnosed at a higher level than I was and she had to go through chemotherapy with her treatment. I was fortunate to only have a lumpectomy and radiation therapy. I’ve mentioned before about the day I was diagnosed. I was alone at the doctor’s when I first learned it was “probably” cancer. Then, I received the dreaded phone call to tell me that it was “definitely” cancer--February, 27, 2007. Charley was home with me. Jim was at work. Caleb was living in L.A. Cory was in Madagascar and Carey in Tennessee. Melanie and Mom were in Hawaii. I turned to Cindy and was so glad she was home when I called her. She came right over. She sat with me, talked with me, and told me I needed to let the family know. I was devastated, frightened, scared and afraid. (I know those words are all the same but that’s what I was feeling.) You see, I had always dreaded the word “cancer”. I had begged God more than once to keep cancer away from me. Why? Because I lost my dad and my brother to cancer. My brother was only 27 years old with a wife and almost 3 year old baby girl. He had melanoma. My father died a year or two later from pancreatic cancer. My grandmother died of cancer and my sister has had melanoma removed. So you see, it runs in the family. Well, with support from friends and family, I made it through those first few days of decision making--doctors, surgeons, hospitals, treatment, etc. Susan was there for me as well. What a prayer warrior she is. All of the email notes I received over the next few days were printed and added to my journal that I took to the hospital with me. Those notes of prayers and encouragement meant so much. And precious Sarah Kate and her family came to the hospital and she sang a song that touched me deeply. A nurse came in to pray for me. What a blessing. The doctors, nurses and staff were terrific. Radiation started a few weeks after I healed. That’s when I got my first tatoos. Actually they were just dots on the skin to show the radiologist where to shoot me with the radiation. I contemplated not going through with it, but I decided to go ahead. The techs were wonderful--Christians and easy to talk to. When you are going in weekly for several weeks, you become close. They were the same ones that Cindy had gone to. Today I’m 2 years, 9 months out and have an appointment on Monday with my oncologist. I’m on medication for 5 years which doesn’t really agree with me. The first year I was on one type of medicine which caused aching feet and hands. Now I’m on another with similar symptoms but has gone into my legs--the achiness that is. I’m laying off one of the meds to see if that helps. I’m sure I’ll get it from the doctor. On my 2 year anniversary from my diagnosis, I got my first real tatoo. It’s a pink ribbon on my right hand. I wanted people to see it and either ask or remember the fact that breast cancer is real. It also has my diagnosis date and C4 (C to the 4th power) which represents my four children whose names begin with a “C”. Of course, now they think their “old” mother is “bad”. Ha! I love it! Just wanted to share what’s on my mind and heart. Please remember Cindy. Remember those that have been touched by breast cancer in some way. Remember the survivors like myself. Remember those who have lost the fight. I won’t forget!