Saturday, December 17, 2011

Waiting.....

Over the past week I’ve been in and out of the doctors. It started with my annual checkup and I’m ending the week with a uterine biopsy. What’s going on? Well, for the past 4-1/2 years I’ve been on three different medicines for my breast cancer. This last medicine, however, has caused some problems that would be from Tamoxifen. From the beginning, doctors wanted me to go on this particular medicine but I was afraid of blood clots (a side effect). The first 2 meds that I was on caused pain and swelling in my ankles and hands; I wanted some relief from that. So about a year or so ago, I decided to give Tamoxifen a try. Well, was it worth it? I’ll never really know, though my hands and feet are better. Not only does Tamoxifen cause blood clots, it also causes uterine cancer (I’m trying to eliminate cancer). So, here I am getting ultrasounds and now a biopsy. They think it’s probably just a thickened lining but there was a 3cm mass. And now comes the waiting.....
Is cancer on my mind? Yeah, sure it is. Am I trying not to go there? Yeah, I am trying. I realize there is always a chance of the cancer monster attacking. But I try not to let it get the better of me. All this to say--I’ve been re-evaluating my life. Why do things like this start us thinking?

Since I was diagnosed with cancer, I’ve done some soul searching. Not as much or as diligently as I should have I suppose, but nonetheless. I guess you could say I’m in the winter of my life, or at least the late fall and I’m wanting to finish well. A video posted on my Facebook today once again reminded me that we should be about our Father’s business. Clayton (the boy in the video) did just that. He lived out John 3:16 during his short life of 18 years. He still blesses us, teaches us, and reminds us that God is the answer. So how am I going to finish? Will it be the way I have been for the past few years, doing pretty much nothing? Or will I be about MY Father’s business?